Tayla's blog

Thanksgiving

Today is a day to give thanks if you don't already do it on a daily basis. Here I am surrounded amongst family and loved ones. I am thankful for the last name I carry and to have a huge family which in numbers could take over an entire school and has enough love and positive energy to fuel a village. I think of my two grandpas which have passed very close to this holiday and we celebrate them with the atang, as if they were sitting with us right at the table. I miss them, and the only thing I regret is the fact that they don't get to see how much we've all grown up. Perhaps they can, and perhaps they are watching us right now.

I am thankful for my friends, old and new, for they've all had some influence on the person I've become. Whether it was helping me survive the night or a minute problem or if they've been standing by my side since I was a child. I am thankful for all of you. You're all amazing people who come from all kinds of different situations and I'm grateful to have taken a piece of all of you and to have kept it in my heart. Either way, thanks for passing through or staying for the long haul.

I am thankful to have gone through all that I have, and to still stand here to talk about it. I haven't felt more alive and thankful for all that He has passed me through. He only gave you this life because you are able to handle it.

God bless everyone. Have a wonderful thanksgiving.

Mahalo from the hardest act to follow

So I lied, I'm back here blogging.

I'm back in Hawaii and I feel amazing. I was nervous coming back. I didn't know if it would feel the same without my Papa here. I didn't know if my family would give me crap for being a person that I didn't feel like they approved of. But I was confronted with none of that. I was introduced with love.

I've never felt more at home before. Good luck getting me off this island. <3

I've moved.

Vox doesn't wanna make an app for the iPhone,

so Tumblr it is!

TAYL0VEE.tumblr.com

(:

All the things I wish I could say.

You shouldn't have let me go and it's as simple as that. I fought for you for years. Saying I stood by you through everything, is a complete understatement. Saying I know you, is a complete understatement. I pushed you to be all that you can be. We balanced each other. We both strived together. You were so ambitious. Now, I don't know what happened. How did she, the one that you left me for, let you fall so low? I wouldn't have let you because I loved you. I want you to be all that you can be. I want success for you. I want you to have the best, be the best. I don't settle, and you shouldn't have either. I hope she was worth it, but you don't have to listen to me; I'm just another good girl that was taken advantage of again. I'm sorry to be the one you regretted letting go. I'm always here, but you can't get me back once I'm gone. I'm exhausted of the same scenarios. One day I'll meet the one who's smart enough to not let me go in the first place.

 

 

<3 T.C.

I find myself,

Exactly where I was last year. This isn't good.

Milestone.

I completely realize it's been decades since I've last blogged. It's a shame because I've truly missed it. Let's see. What's been new besides absolutely everything?

This Monday I turned twenty. I am no longer a teenager. It's crazy to think where the time went. Me and Adrienne threw our joint birthday party this past weekend as well. Everything imaginable went wrong, but I think that made the night more priceless and memorable. I knew we were screwed once the hotel placed us in the shittiest suite in the wrong tower. Both of us figured, live it up until it's over. . . And I'm damn well that we did. I had a good night. Nonetheless, what I wanted to happen. . . did. <3

- - -

Freud's theory: You're screwing me up. Lol.

- - -

School is going amazing. I'm totally kicking ass and taking names.

- - -

It's Lent and I've given up drinking and all meat. Why? Well to be blunt if we weren't drunk I wouldn't have slept with you. Meat, because I really want to see if I can handle it. It's a toughie. :/

- - -

Friends. I've felt a lot of fluctuations with friendships lately. I feel like especially since it was my birthday I learned a lot. I looked around at the beginning to see who was there. . . and took a second peek at the end. They were the same people. I expected a lot from some people, and that sounds selfish of me, it really does. I understand, things get in the way and I'm done waiting for something in return. I guess you can say I'm growing up. If you're there, you're there. If you're not, you're not. I feel like I've personally done a lot for some people (and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). It usually ends with a knife in my back, getting completely screwed over, or simply to be forgotten. I do bend over backwards to please people. I try to split myself five ways to make everyone happy, so everyone knows that they matter. I guess you can't get your hopes up that people will give you the same treatment, but things will happen for me. And just because it hasn't yet doesn't mean I'm going to stop giving. That's just second nature.

 

 

<3 T.C.

This can't happen.

It cannot. It'd simply be the biggest case of irony I've ever heard.
I can't get the one thing that I wanted when everything else finally lines up.
It doesn't make sense.

Goodnight.

 

 

<3 T.C.

I did something crazy.

I talked to Ejay.
He's happy,
He's in heaven.
That's all I needed to know.

<3

I miss you.

It's easy to type, but not easy to say. I'm stubborn.

Upward trend!

I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. Welcome home, Janelley-elly-elly-oh. This visit was something we all needed. I love my friends. I can't believe we've all known each other since elementary school days. My ride or dies that literally saved my life. It was almost relieving, as if things like that never change. And they don't. End of story. I know I've missed out on a few years, but you always come back to what you know is true. Thank you guys, for everything. <3

I think things are going uphill from here on out.

 

 

 

<3 T.C.